Misty Mornings

As Italy is once again implementing further restrictions and I am reminded of one gloomy morning - the 31st January 2020 - the day I took this photo. It was my birthday.

It was pre-covid, pre-restrictions, a week which felt like a month of mornings with low visibility. It was cold and damp. I am not really sure why I took the photo ? I usually take photos to remind me of happy moments, but this photo was taken purely to show the gloom. I felt in a 'fog', yes the weather was dragging me down. I was missing my family, friends, the sun of Colorado and a purpose. Maybe I took the photo to seal and justify my emotions.

The gloomy feeling may also have been compounded by the impending doom of the year to come. Our first life change here in Italy was not until the 21st February 2020, when the schools closed, but on the 30th January 2020 the day before this photo the World Health Organization declared that the outbreak in China was a 'public health emergency of global concern' – the World Health Organization's highest alert level, this was officially a pandemic, and Italy was soon to announce its first case.

A year and nearly two months later, Italy is still color coded - and our colors are going in the wrong direction. If you think of the color code as traffic signals, we have not been in green only various shades of yellow, (orange) and red. We changed last weekend from yellow to orange. On yellow we could move around in our regions. On orange we can only move around our much smaller commune (municipality). As we move out of our municipality we have to bring our 'papers' - self declarations of our reasons to be out of our commune; work, school, groceries, medical reasons are all exceptions. Restaurants and cafes are take out only and we have a lockdown of 10pm. Non-essential stores are closed at the weekends. Moving to red is almost certainly going to happen in the next few weeks in time for Spring break and Easter and possibly every weekend if the rumors are verified.

Spectacular in fact. The morning mist has provided a remarkable almost magical filter. Instead of being a heavy fog, burdening vision, it has been more of a morning mist laying low in the fields allowing the sun to take center stage. The fog seems to have laid lower in the valley close to the ground as though a mirror to the sun rather than an obstacle.

Spectacular in fact. The morning mist has provided a remarkable almost magical filter. Instead of being a heavy fog, burdening vision, it has been more of a morning mist laying low in the fields allowing the sun to take center stage. The fog seems to have laid lower in the valley close to the ground as though a mirror to the sun rather than an obstacle.

The power of perspective ? Maybe ? I have no scientific explanation - maybe there is less pollution this year with less cars moving around ? Maybe the year just happens to have less fog ? Or maybe my mind is more open to focusing on brighter prospects ? Maybe I am more grateful this year ?

It is true that you can only be grateful for what you first see - if you don't see it in the first place there is nothing to be grateful for. Maybe last year I could only focus on the fog. Patience and time seems to have gifted me the realization that taking something away, clouding my vision for a while, can highlight all which remains in view.

The poet Mary Oliver acknowledged, gifts are not always recognizable straight away. Without ribbons and bows, they can easily pass us by unacknowledged. 2020 brought such a lot of darkness. A heavy burden of sadness and so much loss and suffering to so many. But maybe like Mary Oliver's box of darkness, in years to come or even sooner, we can recognize the unwrapped gifts of the pandemic which may in other years have simply passed us by.

There have been gifts in the last year, hidden beneath the dense fog -  time to slow down, time to rethink our purpose or harbor creativity. Or maybe reopen the gifts which have always been there, allowing them to take center stage again;  family and friends we cherish but may have take for granted, the amazing nature which surrounds us that we have continually walked by too busy or preoccupied to recognize, the security, warmth  and comfort of the homes we love, our freedom to travel, gather with friends or simply the ability to breathe without a mask or hug without worry.

Agreed, it is hard to be here - in Italy facing further restrictions again when we were the first to start. It is hard to watch other countries lift restrictions while we seem to be back at the start. Like a game of snakes and ladders we rolled the dice multiple times and got the snake while the others continued to get the ladder. But instead of comparing our fates, like the child on Christmas day comparing gifts to another child's or their own gifts in years past, let's  pause and put everything back in perspective.

Instead of our photo being the one of January 31st 2020, look around and be grateful for the gifts we have and the ones to come. With a flip of vocabulary and perspective turn dense fog into morning mist. A morning mist which promises a sunny day to come.

Do not turn down the gifts each day offers by refusing to see them as maybe they do not compare to the gifts of others or of our own gifts of previous years. Maybe our fog seems denser today which makes our gifts seem less. But there can be fog and light, these photos show us this is true. It is all in our perspective, the gifts we choose to count and the ones we do not. Do you see a fog or a beautiful morning mist ?

Maybe on that morning the 31st January 2020, I could have turned around towards the sun found a higher vantage point and taken a similar photo to those of this year.  But equally maybe I needed that photo to remind me everyday is not easy and I needed this photo as a comparison, as motivation to look for the gifts I found later and greet every day with optimism and gratitude because in the words of Maya Angelou.

Do you choose to see dense fog or the beautiful morning mist promising a brighter day ahead. I suggest the latter - count all the gifts in your path. Look around for the path above the fog, this way the fog becomes a beautiful morning mist projecting brightness back on to the world highlighting each gift instead of concealing them.

Remember - you cannot be grateful for what you cannot see. Do not stay in the places where the fog lays dense. It is all in your perspective - choose to see the gifts and you will find them.